I had given up on my blogging habits, but the sudden demise of all the Porn Sites in our alluring dysfunctional nation compelled me to brew words. There is news that this is a temporary measure to weed out child porn, it certainly does not stink like that. The blocking of all pornography websites in stealth mode by a government who has been hell bent on doing so does not speak of altruism at all. So here I am; dirtier, more frustrated and depressed and hopefully more sarcastic than ever trying to understand why the fuck culture doesn’t like Porn. Everybody else does, don’t they? Read on!
There are periods in history, every hundred years or so when the culture is down on its knees, dutifully blowing desires morning, noon and night. These are distressing times, when humans owing to their four-legged forefathers start to behave like one.
We have had one of those, recently. People giving up good ol’ missionary to start humping like dogs, licking each other’s genitals (aargh!), allowing women to get on top. This is what dogs do, right. Ghastly creatures! And if that was not enough, women have been actually starting to enjoy sex, even asking for it. What had the world come to! I mean lesbians, transgender, fucking ivory fucking ebony! The culture would have shouted blasphemy in every language if its mouth wasn’t full of load from the stiff prick of hedonism.
But, times are a changing. Saviors are here. Religion is here, holy books and holy Joes too! Even the goddamn god must be lurking somewhere around. And, they are angry. Holy hell, they want to shove some missionary style sense or should I say lack of it into the holy herd.
I mean, the whole watching people having sex doesn’t make sense. It is supposed to be done in the dark. You know the total Hitchcock noir style. To keep alive the suspense in the search for the correct hole, right? And, you are not supposed to make noises like that. What the fuck would Mr. Sharma say! And, humor me if you will, how is it alright to show pearly white tits and a totally clean shaven pussy regularly to a paunchy, stinky kid whose only pussy in life is going to be the hairy one his mother chooses for him. Isn’t that supposed to make him some kind of rapist?
And, what of its effects on our virtuous, pure, homely, motherly, holy cow-sy, soft spoken, mild mannered women? They are supposed to bear good strong children, not climb up over their men and jump obscenely! And, children can be bore alright in the good old cultural way where the man provides and women partakes (in the dark of course).
See, the facts are clear. Culture wants men to fuck women (that’s the only way) with lights out, with only optimal amount of nudity (to protect the modesty) in missionary position! No experiments, no going up and down, no blowjobs, no tools, no queerness, no mixture of ebony, ivory, jaati, gotra and definitely no love jihad! And, anything promoting or advocating otherwise shall be banned, castrated and ass fucked by culture (we allow the rules to be bent inside the mothership).
So, if you want to make porn, make it in India and make it according to our values. And, our values don’t include blasphemy from the Khajuraho or the pervert Vatsyayana. That was part of Nikola Tesla’s conspiracy to rule the world. It was that son of a bitch which predicted all this world connected by screens.
Well, we have got a tech-savvy government here, and we are gonna ban the shit out of internet motherfuckers! Long have culture blown your desires, it is payback time now, with the lights out, in missionary!
To add a footnote of sorts, i would like to say that i do not fancy coming across my kid watching porn someday. That would be embarrassing. But, embarrassment like anger, or sexual desire is an emotion. It has nothing to do with culture. It is about my choices. It would not be very pleasurable to discuss the merits of regular sex vs S&M with my kids in future, so there better be places they could go and things they could see and do whatever the fuck they want. I would prefer that culture keeps blowing the desires, and there be porn sites for me and my progenies to consume. Amen!